Velut Luna
by Cat Lady Murmur
Summary: Like the moon, Remus Lupin's life has gone through many phases...(right, so I really only name 2 or 3, but it sounded kewl. :P My very first Lupin fic.)


A/N: Uhm…yeah. Well, this is my first try at a Lupin fic. I know he seems kinda out of character, but he's a lil boi! Lil boi's change. ^-^ Liam, Edgar and Avery are © meeh, but Lupin and all the rest are belong to Ms. Rowling. :P Please don't flame me too badly. ^-^;;;

****

Velut Luna

"Guys, I don't think we should do this."  
  
"Oh don't be such a girl!"  
  
"But what if we get in trouble?"  
  
"It doesn't matter! We took a dare, so we HAVE to do it!"  
  
The shyest of the three boys said, "But what if something…happens?"  
  
Liam, obviously the leader, scowled at his friends' sudden cowardice. "Really Edgar, wasn't this YOUR idea in the first place?"  
  
"No," said Edgar quietly. "It was Remus's."  
  
Remus looked taken aback, and shot a look at Liam. "Hey, I wasn't the one who said I could take a werewolf on single-handed!"  
  
"Does it really matter who said what?" said Liam dismissively.  
  
"But you were the one--"  
  
"Look," Liam interrupted Edgar, "are you guys with me or not? It's just a dare, it's not like we're in any real harm!"  
  
"And we're supposed to do what again?" Remus asked pointedly.  
  
"Just bring back one of its teeth--"  
  
"And that _surely_ won't put us anywhere _near_ danger…"  
  
"One of its _teeth?"_ asked Edgar, the color draining out of him. "But…but how are we going to do _that_?"  
  
"Guys, guys, relax!" said Liam in his best "You know you're going to do it anyway" voice. "I have it all figured out! They're gonna meet us at the edge of the forest to make sure we go in, right? Well, all we have to do is go deep enough into the forest to where they can't see or hear us anymore, and then pick up the first piece of bone we find!"  
  
"And what if we don't find any?" Remus asked.  
  
"Then I'll make sure to bring a spare," said Liam dryly. "Or I could just take one of _yours_."  
  
"Guys, come on, don't fight," said Edgar, ever the mediator. With the way Remus and Liam sometimes clashed, he couldn't believe that the two of them called each other a friend. "I'm sure that if Liam says they will, things will work out fine."  
  
"They better," said Remus. "I don't like the idea of being eaten."  
  
~*~  
  
The night of the dare came quicker than was expected. Before long, Edgar, Liam and Remus were standing huddled just outside of the forest that bordered their town, a cruel wind blowing. Fall was becoming Winter, and Winter had never been kind to their small piece of the world. The boys were waiting for a few others, the ones who had dared them to risk their lives for a tooth that they probably wouldn't find.   
  
The sun had set a long time ago, and neither of the boys had really wanted to leave their nice warm beds to sneak out to the forest. But, as Liam had put it, they took a dare, and now they had to prove themselves. Through the clouds, pale moonlight trickled through and cast a surreal glow upon the friends. Remus looked from Liam to Edgar, wondering if either of them was feeling the same stinging apprehension that had filled his own stomach hours ago.   
  
In the moonlight, Liam's dark hair was illuminated in such a way that it was almost easy to mistake the light for an odd halo. The thought of Liam as any kind of angel helped to ease Remus's anxiety as he tried to stifle a laugh. Liam was a troublemaker through and through, the kind of kid that every adult in town knew as "that bad kid." Remus, on the other hand, was usually very well mannered and well spoken for his age, and had never been in any real trouble in his life. He was surprised that his parents would even let him hang around with a guy like Liam.  
  
_Maybe it's because Edgar's always with us…_  
  
Edgar was the middle ground between the other two and almost always had to referee them. He wasn't really one for trouble, and had dispelled a lot of situations that could have ended in disaster. Whenever the little voice that usually told Liam that something wasn't a good idea wasn't doing it's job, Edgar was there to take over.   
  
_But he's not saying anything now_, Remus thought, frowning slightly. While Edgar was good at what he did, he was also a pushover at times. Liam was stronger than him in more ways than one, and he looked up to him for it, which also made it easier for Liam to get his own way sometimes. Liam was also two years older than Edgar and Remus, was starting Hogwarts the following year, and this also helped Edgar's impressionability.  
  
Remus looked at his watch and noticed that the other boys were late. He sighed.  
  
Liam must have noticed the tardiness, or he was just being impatient. "Where _are_ they? I'm cold and I want to get this over with!" he said as he pulled his cloak tightly around him and stamped his feet to try and warm up a bit. "If they don't show in 5 minutes, I'm going back home."  
  
"It's a full moon tonight," said Edgar sullenly, his head tilted back to an almost extreme angle. He was shivering, but from the cold or from nerves Remus couldn't be sure.   
  
"How can you tell?" said Remus, trying to see through the heavy clouds. "It's almost completely blocked out."  
  
"Good," said Liam. "If the werewolf doesn't _know_ it's a full moon, then maybe he'll forget to do the whole 'eat the kids in the forest' thing."  
  
"I don't think it works that way," said Remus as he dug the toe of his shoe into the dirt, trying to will time to speed up.  
  
"Well why not?" Liam challenged, obviously wanting a nice fight to keep him busy.  
  
"I can't believe you actually showed up," said a smug voice.  
  
"It's about time you came!" Liam snapped at the voice in the darkness. "It's _freezing_ out here!"  
  
"We thought you'd go home if we made you wait," drawled a second, somewhat stupid voice. Soon, three other boys were standing in front of Remus, Liam and Edgar.   
  
"We almost did," Edgar admitted.  
  
"Chicken?" said the first boy, smirking.  
  
"No, cold," said Liam irritably. He looked at the third boy in the group, a big, burly boy who looked as if a great show was about to begin. Liam frowned. "Why'd you bring _him_?"  
  
"In case someone has to drag you back out of the forest when the werewolf's done with you."  
  
"Yeah, hehe," said the stupid boy.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw Edgar shudder. He obviously didn't feel like being eaten either.   
  
Liam turned to his friends. "Well, let's get going--"  
  
"Not so fast!" said the first boy, striding up to Liam. "First you have to empty your pockets. All of you."  
  
"Why?" said Edgar.  
  
"So we know you won't try to cheat."  
  
Liam hesitated.   
  
The first boy looked at him. "Do it."  
  
Remus and Edgar looked at each other, but turned out their pockets nonetheless. Reluctantly, Liam did as well; a shining white piece of something fell to the ground.  
  
The first boy bent down and picked it up, holding it above him so as to see it better in the moonlight. "I knew you'd do something like that," he said quietly. "A dog tooth."  
  
"What if I said I'd already done the dare?" said Liam.  
  
"Haha," said the first boy dryly. "Well, since it doesn't look like you're hiding anything else, I say it's time you get going."  
  
~*~  
  
"You put it in your _pocket_?" Remus hissed as the boys entered the forest.  
  
"Okay, okay, so maybe that wasn't the smartest thing to do," Liam admitted.  
  
"I'll say! Now what are we supposed to do? Actually _find_ this werewolf and ask for one of his teeth?"  
  
"No," Liam snapped. "We'll just…wing it…"  
  
"This is getting better and better…"  
  
"Guys, stop it," Edgar said automatically.   
  
The forest was dark and silent. Had it been the summer, there would be all types of sounds. Instead, there was only one lonely creature that seemed to be awake that night, making some kind of noise that grew to be quite irritating after a few short minutes. Leaves and broken branches littered the ground, and the crunching of the boys' footfalls soon fell into a rhythmic pattern, as if each were determined to drown out the annoying creature. The sting of apprehension in Remus's stomach had turned into an all out burning sensation. He was extremely annoyed at the fact that his life was now in Liam's hands. He was also extremely annoyed at how easily it was for him to get annoyed at Liam. Remus wasn't quite the annoyable type, and was usually very patient, but his friend had something about him that made it easy for the "bad" side of Remus to come out every now and then.   
  
They walked for what must have been an hour and a half, always straight ahead so as not to get lost when they came back, but with no sign of any teeth lying around waiting to be picked up. However, there was no sign of any werewolves either, and, Remus decided, this was good.   
  
"What are we going to do?" panted Edgar finally, leaning against a tree to rest his tired legs. "Can't we just go back and tell them they win? Or say we had the tooth but we dropped it?"  
  
"Yeah, come on Liam," Remus agreed. "This is stupid. We aren't getting anywhere, and it wouldn't be wise to go any deeper into the forest when we don't even know where we are."  
  
If he had expected Liam to agree with him, he was sorely mistaken.   
  
"No!" Liam barked angrily. "We can't let them win you guys!"  
  
"But I'm cold and sleepy," said Edgar pitifully.   
  
"Come _on_ guys! You know we can pull this off!"  
  
"I think it's time we gave up," said Remus quietly. "I really don't have a very good feeling about this."  
  
And then, as if to punctuate this remark, a sudden, chilling sound sang through the night. The lone, sad howl of the hunting wolf.   
  
Edgar jumped visibly, and Remus's first instinct was to run back immediately, to simply leave Liam and Edgar where they stood, but he banished the idea as quickly as it had come. There was no way he'd abandon them out there.  
  
But Liam didn't look like he had changed his mind at all. In fact, he looked as if the sudden revelation that there was indeed a werewolf out that night had spurred his determination.  
  
"You aren't seriously considering going through with this are you?" Edgar asked, panic-stricken.  
  
"No, he's not," said Remus quickly. "Because we're leaving _now_."  
  
He turned to leave, with Edgar right behind him, but Liam didn't move. "You're just going to leave me?" he asked angrily.  
  
"No, because you're coming with us," said Remus, trying his hardest to fight the surging fear that was threatening to make him lose his patience. "This is stupid Liam! I'm sure Avery's heard the howl too, he wouldn't blame us for leaving!"  
  
"We took a _dare_!" Liam countered, crossing his arms stubbornly across his chest. "And how do we know Avery didn't do it to try and scare us?"  
  
"It sounded pretty real to me," said Edgar shakily.  
  
"Oh how would _you_ know?" Liam snapped.  
  
Remus's fear that the wolf was coming closer was making his legs ache to run. His patience almost completely run out, he said through clenched teeth, "Liam, you know we wouldn't leave you here, but _please_ don't make us have to drag you home."  
  
Liam remained unmoving.  
  
Edgar was getting jittery, and his fear was most evident in the way his head kept turning from side to side. "Please," he pleaded desperately, "I'm done for tonight. Can't we _please_ go home Liam?"  
  
This had somewhat of an effect. Liam let his arms drop, but he still didn't move. "But…but they're probably trying to trick us! They just don't want to be shown up! I know it!"  
  
"But _Liam_--" Remus started, but his breath suddenly caught in his throat. He had heard a noise coming up behind Liam. The familiar _crunch crunch_ of footfalls; the fact that they hadn't heard the wolf cry again suddenly jumped to the front of his mind. "Liam move," he whispered frantically, too frightened to do anything else. "Liam it's coming up behind you--"  
  
Liam spun around and peered into the dark trees ahead. Remus saw his friend's hands ball into fists. "Avery!" Liam yelled. "It's not working! You aren't gonna scare me off!"  
  
Remus felt like he was going to choke. Terror had suddenly closed his throat up entirely, and all he could do was open and close his mouth, trying to form words. Liam walked ever closer to the sound of footsteps, which were still coming their way. "Do you hear me Avery? You aren't scaring me!"  
  
"Liam stop it!" Remus choked out, his heart thundering wildly in his ears. "It's _not_ Avery--"  
  
Suddenly there was silence. Even the annoying creature had stopped making its irritating noise, and the footfalls ceased. To Remus's left, Edgar let out a small whimper. Liam turned back to face his friends; he couldn't make it out too well, but Remus was almost entirely sure there was a triumphant smile on his face. "What'd I tell ya?" he said smugly. "They were just trying to scare us!"  
  
But Remus wasn't listening; he was staring at the glinting yellow eyes that were floating within the trees _right behind_ Liam. Edgar must have seen them too because he started making odd sputtering noises and pointing as he stumbled backwards.   
  
"Liam, move, _move NOW_!"  
  
The last word Edgar spoke was suddenly drawn into a scream of terror as a huge black form leapt out of the trees and crashed into Liam. Liam toppled backwards with the thing right on top of him and screamed as he struggled to hold the creature's massive head away from his throat.   
  
_Move, move, MOVE!!_  
  
Without really thinking, Remus drove himself forward with a panicked yell and crashed into the werewolf, digging his shoulder into it's side in hopes of knocking it far enough away to pull his friend to safety. But the 8-year-old's weight was not enough to do the kind of damage he had needed. In a flash of blood, the werewolf was off Liam, dragging its claws painfully down the young boy's torso as it turned on Remus. Liam's tortured yell rang through the night, and it was all he could hear as Remus flipped backward from the sheer momentum of the wolf's rebound. He hit the ground hard, nearly all the breath knocked out of him as the wolf now pinned him down. For one brief moment, Remus was face to face with the wolf, its eyes locking on to his, and he knew what would come next. His arm flew upward just as the werewolf's jaws made to close on his throat. With a loud and painful _crunch!_, the wolf chewed into his small arm, crushing the bone like it was nothing but a twig. A howl of pain was ripped from Remus and it was all he could do not to pass out right then from agony.   
  
_THWAK!_  
  
The wolf suddenly yelped and looked away from Remus. Remus looked away as well, and was shocked to see Edgar standing there, holding a large stick out in front of him like a sword; he looked tremendously frightened. Remus wanted to shout at him to go get help, but he was sure he would probably throw up if he tried to speak. There was no way his throat would let him say _anything_ at that moment.   
  
Edgar raised the stick again and swung at the werewolf's head--  
  
But the wolf was too quick. Before Edgar had the chance to swing again, the wolf lunged off of Remus and threw itself at Edgar. Immediately, Remus clenched his eyes shut. The screams began, and soon so did the ripping and tearing of flesh; it was the worst thing he had ever heard in his entire life. His heart was threatening to give up right then, and his stomach clenched in such a way that it became extremely difficult to breathe. A strangled sob rose in his throat, but he choked it back.  
  
He tried to look to Liam, hoped to God that he was still alive, but he was having trouble focusing through the tears of pain and anguish.  
  
As the wolf devoured Edgar, Remus pulled himself to his feet and stumbled over to Liam. Kneeling uneasily beside his fallen friend, Remus tried to make him stir, reached out to find Liam's arm...  
  
But his hand strayed too far, and instead he grabbed the bloody ribbons that were his friend's chest. Remus yelped and fell backwards. He cried out in severe pain as he landed on his crushed arm and tried desperately to stand up again, but he was too disoriented. Remus would have given anything at that moment to simply have a wand; he only knew a few spells, but they would have been extremely helpful right then.   
  
He heard the wolf stop it's meal, and he could practically feel its amber gaze boring into him; Remus groped frantically across the ground for anything to deter the predator, and soon his good hand closed on the very stick that Edgar had used. The wolf came at him, and just as it lunged at his face, Remus swung the heavy stick and caught the wolf in the side of the head in mid-leap. It let out a yelp and fell sideways, but it didn't stay down for long. Suddenly it latched onto Remus's leg like a bear-trap and gave him a good shake; the bone snapped instantly. Another tormented scream ripped through the night, and it took all of his remaining strength to sit up and raise the branch once more. The wolf raised its large head, and Remus saw it begin to recoil, preparing to leap again. In a split second, the wolf was airborne and Remus fell backwards, holding the branch straight out-- _CRUNCH!  
  
"AAAROOOOOOOO!!"_  
  
The wolf had impaled itself upon the branch, and had nearly driven it straight through Remus as well. Struggling hard with only one arm, Remus pushed the dead werewolf off of him, and he immediately pulled himself back, watching the creature.  
  
It didn't move.  
  
For a moment, all he could do was stare at the monster, his breath coming in short spasms. The night had seemed to grow even darker, and red flashes were appearing before his eyes. The amount of pain he was in was turning into a type of numbness that Remus knew couldn't be good. The wolf must have severed a certain amount of nerves in his right leg, because soon he no longer felt it.   
  
He didn't dare look to either side of him.  
  
Heavy sobs suddenly started deep in his chest and he tried his hardest to yell for help through the tears. But he knew no one would come. He was out in the middle of the forest with two crushed limbs, and two friends who could no longer hear him.  
  
For awhile all he could do was sob uncontrollably. Liam and Edgar, dead, eaten alive…  
  
~*~  
  
Remus sat up with a start, sweat dripping down the sides of his face, clutching hard at his bedsheets. He ripped back the covers to check his leg. But it was fine. Then he heard James's light snores somewhere in the room, and he soon remembered where he was.   
  
He leaned over the side of his bed to grab his wand off the bedside table and whispered, "Lumos."  
  
The end of his wand lit up, and he cast the light around the room upon every bed, as if to assure himself that this was not a dream as well. He saw James with a grin on his face and snoring peacefully, and through the snores Remus could almost hear the name "Lily". Moving the wand, he saw Sirius in the bed next to his own, sprawled out all over, even hanging over the side, his head nearly touching the floor, and his right leg doing some kind of twitch. Then Peter in the bed next to James's, completely hidden from view, always sleeping with the covers pulled tightly over his head. They were all there, they were all okay…except maybe Sirius, who's entire body was now doing some kind of odd twitch.  
  
_Just chasing rabbits_, Remus thought, and smiled weakly to himself. His friends. His dear, dear friends. They hadn't run away four years ago when they had come to find out what he was, had even gone through the difficult task of learning how to become animagi during their fifth year so he wouldn't be the only one who could "Do that cool transforming thing", as Sirius had put it. Sirius never had a problem with the fact that Remus had been lying about his whereabouts for years, or with the fact that Remus was supposed to be one of the most dangerous creatures around. He had even been the first to declare how "cool" it was. 

Remus put out his wand and set it on the table as he lay back down. But he didn't think he could get back to sleep. That horrible nightmare had started haunting him again and now he couldn't stop thinking about it. He had only been 8 years old when had been bitten. That was 8 years ago…  
  
~*~  
  
While he couldn't quite remember how he had gotten out of the forest, he knew it had something to do with Avery. He remembered the older boy's pale face looking down at him as Avery's father carried Remus hurriedly to the doctor in the middle of the night. "Where's the other ones?" was all Avery kept asking worriedly.  
  
The doctor had said that if Remus had been brought to her any later that she wouldn't have been able to save his limbs. "But," she had said to his mother with a mournful look, "he _has_ been bitten, twice even. You do realize what this means?"  
  
Mrs. Lupin had nodded tearfully, and gave her child's small hand a comforting squeeze as he lay there semi-conscious on a soft mattress. "Will he still be able to attend school?" she asked.  
  
The doctor looked down at Remus thoughtfully and said, "It depends…perhaps someone will discover a cure, or even something to stall the transformation by the time he's old enough for school. But if he were to go right now, I wouldn't think it to be very wise. Werewolves don't have their right mind when they change…it would be best if you and your husband found somewhere secure for him to stay once every month, so something like this would not happen again."  
  
Before the doctor gave Remus a large dose of Skele-Gro, she showed him something that she had extracted from his leg. It was a tooth. "Give it to Avery," Remus said weakly and downed the potion.  
  
The following years had been difficult. With each transformation, Remus felt sicker and sicker, and changing into a wolf hurt about as much as it looked, if not even moreso. For a while, the effects didn't show as much as he thought they did. But by the time he was ready to start Hogwarts, he had taken on a somewhat pale complexion, and he felt fatigued most of the time. His parents had talked to the newly appointed headmaster, Professor Albus Dumbledore, about Remus's "affliction" and he had been very kind. None of the previous headmasters would have ever considered letting a werewolf attend classes with the other children, but Dumbledore was different. 

"Well I'm sure we can work something out," he had said, smiling at Remus with a kindly twinkle in his startling blue eyes. "I'm sure he's a very smart boy, and we can't let something as small as the moon stop him from having a wonderful magical education."  
  
Remus had changed a lot. He became more introverted, and even more caught up in books. He was shy and felt like he didn't belong. Having lost his two best friends in a horrible way by the very thing that he had become, he was afraid of finding another "Liam and Edgar", especially when no one (except his own parents, the doctor and Dumbledore) was very understanding about any of it. Remus wasn't dumb, he knew how kids his age would react if they knew, and at one point he decided that it was for the best to just keep everyone at bay. But then…  
  
Sirius snorted suddenly in his sleep and slid smoothly off the bed, landing with a muffled _thump_ out of sight. "Mmhm, rabbits," was all he said, and was silent once more.   
  
…then he met James, Sirius and Peter and everything turned around. They included him in everything, and in return Remus helped them when it came to homework. They soon became more than friends, they became the Marauders. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Pranks were their specialty, as well as battling the evil force known as Slytherin. Remus had never been happier. Finally, he had been accepted by a group of peers, people who stuck by him without a hint of fear and treated him as normally as they treated anyone else. Sirius had even taken it upon himself to make Remus into a bonafide prankster, since the roguish boy didn't seem satisfied with having a "voice of reason" in the crowd.  
  
Sirius was making more odd noises on the floor now, and if Remus didn't know better, he'd think his friend was growling. He sighed and leaned over the other side of his bed, digging through a pile of books and clothes until he found what he was looking for. He picked up his wand as well, whispered "Lumos" and held it over Sirius. The lanky dark-haired boy was laying in a somewhat awkward position (in more of a pile, really) with one leg still tangled in the sheets above him and--  
  
Remus quickly clamped a hand over his mouth so as not to laugh too loudly. Sirius's pillow was hugged tightly to his chest, a large portion of the corner stuffed into his mouth.  
  
"Finally caught that rabbit?" Remus whispered, smiling, as he took a picture.   
  
Sirius growled a reply.  
  
Remus stuffed the photo beneath his own pillow and returned the camera to its place among the junk on the floor. He knew Sirius wouldn't want the picture shown to anyone, which is why he had to keep it safe until morning when he could show it to James and Peter. After all, Sirius had taught him well.  
  
He closed his eyes and thought about all the great times they'd had so far, and about all the great times they'd have in the future. Graduating together, finding jobs, finding girlfriends, arguing over said girlfriends…their futures were bright, and Remus smiled in the darkness as he thought about them. He could see James captaining a champion Quidditch team, could see Sirius inventing the next generation of fashionable transportation for witches and wizards everywhere, and Peter…perhaps a job in the Ministry Of Magic?

And what about himself? He wasn't sure. Maybe he would be able to help find a cure for werewolves, or perhaps become a professor…then again, there really weren't many positions open to him because of what he was. 

He sighed. No, he wouldn't allow himself to think like that. He still had a year and a half left at Hogwarts, and plenty could happen before graduation. Hell, plenty could happen _after_ graduation as well. It was all just a matter of time. 

__

Velut Luna, he thought to himself. Like the moon, their lives would be going through all kinds of phases, but no matter what, they'd always arrive at the same place, together. Things would work out fine.

As Remus drifted back into sleep, he wondered if he'd feel better hearing that from Liam…


End file.
